How To Teach Your Partner What Works For You In Bed
Asking for what you want in bed can be reeaaaaallyyy freakin’ awkward. There’s so much potential to upset or offend your partner and, often times, non-verbal cues aren’t nearly as obvious as we intend them to be. But considering there’s a HUGE discrepancy between how many men and women regularly reach climax during P&V sex, it’s definitely worth having the convo. After all, sliding between the sheets should be mind-blowing… not just meh.
Here, 10 women share exactly how they got their lovers to level-up.
“Tell them what you like and don’t be shy about it. You are teaching them what you like otherwise how else will the know.” [via]
2. “Communication and patience. They might not get it right away and that’s fine.” [via]
3. “Well I can only orgasm certain ways, so I just tell him that plain and simple. To me it’s not necessarily a sensitive subject. It’s no knock on his ‘manhood’. Just make sure you phrase it as ‘This is a me thing and I just work this way’. Rather than ‘You’re doing it wrong’.” [via]
4. “I take his hands and show him what I like + use body language. I’ll casually mention what turns me on too.” [via]
5. “Communication is the ultimate key for something like this. Your partner will never figure it out if you’re just squirming trying to get their hand in the right spot. Don’t like something? Say, ‘Hey, maybe we should try this instead, or say, ‘Maybe let’s try it like this’. The beauty about sex is it never needs to be ‘perfect’ and it’s meant to make you both feel good. Side note: if your partner makes you feel bad or shames you for your sexual desires, they are probably not the best person for you to be having sex with.” [via]
6. “It took me over a year to get there with my partner. Besides ‘teaching’ it is important to not get frustrated and to be patient. You will get there eventually, but trying to relax and just let whatever happen is just as important.” [via]
7. “Tell them when you’re sexting, ‘I want you to gently rub my X or Y’, and stuff like that.” [via]
8. “Talk to them, show them, and make sure they know (without judgement) they might not get it right every time just like you might not get it right every time either. My current partner had never slept with anyone else before me and he was very nervous about being ‘bad’ at sex. Having the confidence to communicate what felt good and what didn’t took away that pressure of guesswork. He picked it up really quickly and in turn grew his confidence too.” [via]
9. “Mutually masturbate. You learn what gets them off and they learn what gets you off. Communicate, like, ‘I really like it when you X. Also, can we skip Y next time?'” [via]
10. “Communication! It doesn’t have to be awkward or formal. I start by asking them what they like, asking for feedback after making them orgasm (what did I do well, what did you love, what did you not love), and encouraging them to be open and honest. The idea is that they’ll repay the consideration when they do or are trying to make you orgasm. And importantly, if they are in the wrong spot then whispering ‘a little to the right’ is easy to do and can be sexy.
“You can also show them how you make yourself orgasm, even just by explaining the movements you do (like left to right, circles, figure eights, etc), and how many fingers, and so on. Another option that I do when I need to, is take their fingers and reposition them how I want them to be moving. Any worries they had about not getting it right will quickly vanish as they witness how much you’re loving what they’re doing!” [via]
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